Sorry for the gaps in writing. Itâ€™s been an intense few months! It takes a lot to get me to a breaking point, but I sure found it. Dave sent me packing for a few days at the cabin, a working retreat. I got a ton of catching up done, but I also got a staunch reminder about being an introvert. No one believes me when I say that, but the intense relief I felt, working in solitude for a couple days, can hardly be described in words. Simple cooking for one, setting my own schedule, letting my overthinking run wild then run down – I have no words.
I was chatting with someone about their recent getaway. They mentioned not understanding how tense and pent up theyâ€™d been until they stepped away. I agree. I donâ€™t think I can unpack all of Covid in two days, but Iâ€™m sure processing a lot. Leaving the kids is really hard. I know I come back such a better parent, but theyâ€™re growing up so fast I hate to miss a single day. Still, Iâ€™m no good to anyone this fried.
I have a true life partner. He seems to have boundless understanding for who I am, and I can only hope that Iâ€™m supporting him half as well as he supports me. So when we talk about the burden on moms during the pandemic, I usually stay pretty quiet. Iâ€™ve got a lot of help at home, and our school is doing an incredible job. (If you have to deal with virtual school, I can only hope youâ€™re in a similar setup. I am so impressed with these teachers and kids!) but man! I am feeling that pressure right now. And if Iâ€™m feeling it, I can only imagine what families with less help are going through.
The fabled â€œreturnâ€ is on the horizon. We inch toward a return to school/work/performance/live. And seemingly every day, someone else in our circle is vaccinated. I know weâ€™re in the home stretch. But oh my god, it canâ€™t come soon enough. The ache from missing our people is intense. The friendships that have intensified during this only make us want to reconnect more. And with the anniversary of the original lockdown AND three of our kidsâ€™ birthdays coming in the next 10 days, I suspect more processing is coming.
Hugs to all of you. You are appreciated, missed, loved, and thought of often. Hereâ€™s to an early spring!