As I look around my house today, it reminds me of the houses I used to babysit in. It reminds me of houses full of children’s toys, of dinner smells and backpacks and shoes and beautiful things. I look around me and wonder now when this became my house – when my house filled with toys and babies and shoes and backpacks, good smells and paintings and a grand piano. Chaos isn’t my thing; still, there is something beautiful about the chaos that comes with small children. Honestly, the mess irritates me and thrills me in equal parts.

While interviewing potential nannies, I guess I finally realized that the Maggey that went out on babysitting jobs and loved to rock other people’s kids to sleep is suddenly one of the moms she used to babysit for. It’s really strange to realize how much time has past; suddenly, I am not the youngest generation. Really, I’m not even close!

Perhaps in response to that, I’ve spent a few days being the me I wanted to be when I grew up: we had a casual dinner party that went until 1 am on a weekday, I’ve been falling in love with bike commuting (which is making me fall in love with my neighborhood all over again), focusing on what inspires me at work and play, seeing family, being a goofy mom to make my kids laugh (who knew I had that in me?!) and seeking balance. For the first time in months, I feel like doing yoga, getting out for a walk and doing something other than sleep! Thank you Remy for discovering 6-hour stretches.

It may just be the leaves turning. Fall always makes me nostalgic and grateful – something about crisp air and sunshine lights me ablaze. As I grabbed a quick lunch with telecommuting Dave today, I marveled at an adult life that allows us the freedom to soak up the fall sunshine on a Friday before returning home to work side by side; a life with film festivals, classical music, whiskey and sweet babies.

So we work, do dishes, pay bills, walk the dog and pick up bristle blocks; but we also whizz down the tree-lined streets shouting nonsense at each other and stay up too late giggling with friends. I wonder what serious high school Maggey, who felt so lost and so found all at once, would think of me now if she came to babysit at this house. Do you think she’d notice how much fun we’re having?