We took the Bigs to the symphony on a day with a slightly weird schedule. Tess was whiny and wiggly; Dave removed her. Remy was behaving beautifully, then I saw his eyelids droop and he passed out completely. For 45 minutes of beautiful music, held my sweet boy and wanted time to stop.

Our kids are growing up so fast, and my parenting is just keeping up. A few years ago, I would’ve shaken him awake so he could enjoy the music. These days, I know the small moments of joy count – but they’re not always the “special” ones. Yes, I love it when the Christmas cookies or decorating eve go beautifully! But what Remy and I will remember was a moment together in one of our favorite places, snuggly and surrounded by beautiful music. He won’t remember the program from his first “real” concert, but who cares? He’ll remember how he felt – welcome, comfortable and at peace.

So instead of trying to create magical moments, I’m trying to love them intensely when they happen, giving them my full attention. That quintessential warm arm around my neck at bedtime, the off-tune heroic singing of the boys when we sing together, the warm little hand in mine as we walk down the street. They may be in fits just before or after, but it doesn’t matter.

Our kids are close in age, and our moments of beauty with all of them happen in waves instead of instances. That makes capturing and living them all the more important.

After Tess’ misbehavior in the hall, we could’ve stomped her back to the car and home. Instead, we let Remy choose where to have a Bigs date and what we’d order. With grudging respect, Tess acknowledged the fairness of that verdict and grabbed some crayons. What could’ve ended abruptly and rough instead gave us a moment of joy. Here’s to learning new skills every day!