Over the weekend, Joy was the constant for the kids, while Dave and I bounced between the baby and the toddlers. (She is hands down the most amazing person I know.) David and I were at the hospital all day trying to figure out what this baby’s name is. He’s surprisingly hard to capture! He’s the whitest half black baby we’ve ever seen, has the most amazing hair we have ever witnessed on a baby, and has these the calmest temperament I have ever witnessed. Here’s hoping it stays that way! We could do with a child mediator.
The name we came ready to use and did use Friday night into Saturday just didn’t seem right. We erased it from the board, put up some ?’s, and tried to decide whether our other favorite boy name was a good fit. Twenty fours hours to test!
On Saturday night, I shared pictures of Dave at the hospital holding the baby with our kids. Both kids got really quiet and stared long and hard. Remy wasn’t sure he wanted daddy to be holding a baby. He said daddy was holding a rabbit. Not sure where to go with that! We read one of their favorite books, where Tchoupi gets a sister. Tess kept exclaiming,
They got a baby at the hospital, like us!
She seemed really excited. I got a solid nights’ sleep, even after tucking Remy in four times and catching up on laundry. The kids clearly needed some reassurance that we were still present. Going home to see them and talk through the adoption was the right decision.
Back at the hospital, baby boy had visitors! His aunt and cousin came by, followed by two friends of Bianca’s. They all seemed surprised it was Dave’s night at the hospital! They talked about names, multilingualism, that the baby looks like his half-sister, and what our adoptions look like. They were also really curious about Dave’s parental involvement. Dave was very open, and really enjoyed chatting with them.
One visitor was really pushing to have a more open adoption with us, but we know that’s not what Bianca wants right now. Dave did a great job of explaining that we abide by Bianca’s wishes first and foremost. How she chooses to proceed colors our decisions. They seemed to understand. Added bonus? They seem to really like our second name. It must be a winner.
I took Joy to church, hung out with my brother’s family with all the kids for an hour, picked up Joy, then rushed back to the hospital to meet the mom. We were nervous, but excited. She just couldn’t do it, though. My heart went out to her; what does this even feel like in her position?! We walked back up to our room, explaining that if she changes her mind at any point, we would be delighted to meet her. We understand that adoption is complicated for everyone involved, families included. Emotions catch us at the weirdest times, and there’s no way to plan for it. We all have to just ride the wave.
His mom is checking out of the hospital today. So I have one more night at the hospital tonight with this charming boy. I cannot communicate in words how beautiful this alone time with him is, and how excited we are for the paperwork to be signed. It’s a weird push and pull that’s inspiring us to live every precious minute in full.
The kids need that parental love reinforced right now. Super giant love will make Tuesday morning exciting and less intimidating.
Brett and Cheri continue to knock it out of the park on the support front. They’re bringing over their baby swing, which will make balancing big versus little kid fun much easier as we transition. (For example, it will be harder for Remy to accidentally knock the baby in the head with his cast if he’s in a swing, versus our travel infant bed!) After the paperwork is signed, we’re really looking forward to spending some time with them. In fact, the rest of our time in Arizona will be really lovely. We are all looking forward to a little relaxation and getting to know our family of five.
Also, we picked a name officially! It suits him, and we can’t wait to share with you. In honor of said choice, both boys passed out cold. We’re all a bit tired!
Can’t believe the intensity of all these feelings…but they are beautifully captured here. JB and I are so happy for you.
“Super giant love” coming your way.