Tess and I had a rough day. We’re going to leave it at that. She’s fine, just not ready to lower her oxygen apparently, which we discovered at the beginning of a quickly aborted kangaroo care. I’m looking forward to tomorrow.

Before Tess joined the family, I was staring down months and months of waiting. Waiting for the paperwork to end, for the home study interviews, for the state clearance, to be picked…and I used that time to read, probably more than I should have. I tried to clarify for myself what kind of parents we should be. And Dave, good sport and excellent hubby that he is, patiently talked through these parenting philosophies, agreeing and disagreeing and helping forge this pristine, conceptual view of parenting.

I realized today that when Tess and I are in the same room, I don’t give a crap about parenting styles and techniques. I just want to be her mom – I love it when Dave or my touch soothes her, or when her oxygen needs go down when we get to hold her (yes, that happens!). I suddenly understood why everyone’s ‘parenting techniques’ are different; if everyone feels this way, we’re all pretty much acting on instinct. I’m honored to be this kid’s mom, and I know Dave feels the same way about being her dad! It’s been 2 weeks, and we still have to pay attention not to hog diaper and face-wiping duty! Lol. Max said at some point the awe would subside. I believe him, but I think we’ll be waiting a while!

New NICU fact: parents can do sleepovers before they go home! There’s a little hotel suite for practicing. I know we’re no where near needing it, but it’s a huge consolation. The idea of having to walk out the door with a baby we’ve been afraid to let meet our siblings for fear of contagion has been haunting me.