Birth parent relationships

We recently had a thought-provoking conversation following an email from Kat. She brought up visits, which we’re open to, and wondered what the logistics would be. Stewardship of our kids’ relationships with their birth families is a responsibility we take very seriously. We don’t want to establish an expectation that our kids have to follow through on by establishing scheduled visits, etc. – but we also want to make sure Tess and Remy have as much opportunity to make those connections that they could ever want! Walking the line between embracing birth family involvement (which we greatly enjoy) and keeping enough space for what a teenager struggling with identity issues might need challenges us at every turn. I don’t know what the right answer is, or if one exists. It’s hard to keep a distance from the people who gave us the most beautiful thing in the world – a family! So we’re planning a Southwest trip sometime in the near future, when we’ll visit our families and theirs. I don’t know how satisfied/disappointed that makes all parties, but we’re looking forward to seeing everyone!

In the meantime, we got some dual family love going for turkey day, and even talked Lauren into her first magic Coffee. The minute Thanksgiving ended, Christmas time kicked in! The Santa rampage, a German Christmas market and lots of family time.

Last night, we opened a package from Kat’s family and the love felt in this house grew yet again. Nestled in next to Tess’ advent calendar was one for her brother. Dave and I had worried how Remy would feel around Christmas when Tess has this great tradition with her birth family – and they just roped him right into it! A huge thanks for that thoughtfulness and insight. Also, watching Tess finally ‘get’ presents was hysterical. Christmas morning should be quite entertaining. Remy doesn’t get it yet, but he sure enjoyed what we found inside!

We spent tonight playing on the floor with our munchkins, watching Tess smash Remy’s Santa hat onto his face, and Remy gum her new cup. Crawling, drooling, giggling, reading, snuggling – it’s one of the best Friday nights I’ve ever had. Happy holidays to us!

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