I became a mom in a dramatic moment (thanks Tess!) over three years ago, and felt like one immediately and not. I still retained my bookworm status, my love of cooking and traveling, my quiet cups of coffee in the early morning and my ability to attend lots of concerts.
Two made those critical pleasures less convenient, but I still enjoyed them. Four squeezes them into the corner behind the Legos. We’ve always felt balanced between our adult life and the kids; no more.
I suddenly realize that:
- Facebook covers will be kids.
- Stories revolve around kids.
- Free time is for kids or despite kids (groceries, doctor’s appts, errands).
- Time not with kids is for being very asleep. Insomnia cured.
- Designated going out nights will be brief due to exhaustion. The sitters go out when we get home. They have complained that we get home so early they have to go home in between.
- Anything requiring leaving the house takes an additional half hourâ€¦ per child.
- Any adult or large child that enters our house will be assigned tasks. No one is safe.
With my love of systems and structure, I was built for this. Being my age means I’ve learned no system is perfect; I can survive the snafus. I’m writing this while Tess and Lilou play on the floor and Griff snoozes in my arms. David’s working in the other room and Remy’s asleep upstairs. Aligning all six of us on any one activity is quite challenging, but I love these small groups. Watching kids play together and look for whoever’s not in the room is really sweet.
So far, the worst moment of the day is pre-dinner. Everything after that falls together, but at 6 o’clock at night everyone needs something! We have specific moments in time when we can leave the house as a full set. If we miss the window, we have to wait for the next one. Joy labeled that well: “summer hours! ” Aside from that, we are surviving. Next week? Thriving. 🙂