A few days later

Women talk about how uncomfortable pre-labor is; how pushing actually feels like a relief. Well, we’ve been living through weeks of unsure timelines, confusion, hope mixed with dread, and stress. Getting closure on this match was also a relief. We don’t have a child in our arms right now, but we know I won’t be taking maternity leave anytime soon, which means I can use some of my pent-up vacation and enjoy being here. We know when we’ll be going home for sure, that well have extra room in the car. No bottle feedings to work around means we can rocket back as quickly as we came. No infant makes babysitting plans simpler for my brother’s wedding this weekend. I can take fall projects at work when I get back. Life will continue as is for a while longer.

Everyone’s kind notes, calls and thoughts are hugely comforting, as is knowing we’ll be home soon with many of the awesome senders of said missives. We can’t decide if we’re simply in shock or if we’re weathering this experience better than everyone expects, including the agency experts.

In a week, I may be wild with frustration. When I repack the nursery I prepared for this little boy, I may be deeply sad. For right now, we’ll continue to just be bummed and go enjoy time with our family on the beach!

For now, I’m enjoying hearing Remy chant

Pancakes! Pancakes!

from the living room while I whip up breakfast. We’ll go for a walk on the beach, spent some time as a family, and enjoy our last dinner at Indian Rocks Beach tonight before we head down to Naples for our family celebration.

This apartment has been our home for almost a month. We’ve met some neighbors, explored the playgrounds and nature preserve, enjoy walks on the beach and swims in the pool on cold days and warm. We know what we like here and what we don’t. All of which makes it easier to think about coming back The next time we got a call about a baby so chins up, pancakes at the ready, and family time at the fore! Keeping it real.

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