My week has been a bit challenging. I don’t care to share all on here; suffice to say a few days in a quiet place would not be amiss.
So many people feel the need to tell me how to act, what to think, and what their expectations are. Surprisingly, it’s never the ones in a position to do so. My boss and her superiors, the people I work with – they can comment on my work. The people who live in my house and mom, who’s rebuilding it, can comment on our house. No one can tell me what I should and should not like, or what I can and cannot have. My budget and taste dictate that. Ditto for what I eat and how we spend our time…and who will take care of Tess while we’re at work, how we work around her current schedule, what medical choices we make and how we parent. And as much as it challenges us to constantly remind people of Tess’ needs, we will drone on. Her life matters more than people’s feelings or impressions.
Most of our people are doing an INCREDIBLE job of supporting our choices for Tess. How we fit her into our lives and the choices we make seem to be viewed as target practice. It’s ok – we’ll use it to develop a thick parental skin now, the better to protect her with as we get older.
A few points: if you don’t like Tess’ name, keep it to yourself. We do. If you think all good moms should stay home, go home. If you think French isn’t the best choice or that raising a child bilingual isn’t ideal, that’s fine. It’s my choice, my child, my language and my rules in this case. Your opinion is just that. Dave and I made that decision and many others carefully, with great forethought. I doubt many of the naysayers know as much about language and the brain as I do. If you have something on that front to share, I’m all ears!
I’m a private person, and I respect people’s right to make their own choices about everything from education to spanking. I’m also very opinionated: don’t worry, I know you’re all thinking it! But sometimes I’m reminded of how it feels on the other side of all those opinions. It’s a great reminder that I don’t always need to share them.
This does not refer to the great parental/preemie/etc advice that we get! The difference is telling us what we’re doing wrong versus suggesting something that may work. Advisors, don’t walk off the job! We rely on you.
On a happier note, Tess is doing great. No change at her eye exam today, which stinks, but until the doctor tells is to worry we’ll keep it at a low simmer. Our work/life split isn’t easy but is working, and we’re talking about bringing Natalie in sooner rather than later, so we can all transition a little better. Other than Tess’ evening rumpus, she’s a sweet, amazing, snuggly child. My heart is so hers. She’s taken to hanging onto our clothes rather than a toy or a binkie, and it just melts our hearts that she’s literally hanging onto us! She’s eating up a storm the last few days, which has us hoping for a little growth spurt come her next weigh-in. I wonder if she’s passed 8 pounds, but am trying to enjoy the freedom of letting it go for longer stretches. Her coordination is getting so good she’s almost karate-chopping the bottle away when she’s had enough. She’s knocked it out of both of our hands! If only she applied that vigor to tummy time. 🙂