Easter, 2012: Tess was attached to a ventilator, had two blood transfusions and left us heart sore. Kat and company brought us some cheer at the hospital, and we had a brief happy moment in the parents’ lounge before resuming our exhausted vigil.
Easter, 2013: we took our two babies to brunch and marveled at being normal parents.
Easter, 2014: we woke up with our rowdy toddlers, ate two breakfasts (what?! They get hungry!), couldn’t stop smiling as we watched Tess run and Remy toddle in the sunshine with their cousins and be awed by their first petting zoo experience.
So here we are – enjoying every minute of parenthood. Yes, we had our kids close together. They are both in diapers, enjoy the same toys, wear the same size clothes. They’re teething and learning to speak in unison. Both need naps, which determine our movements. People marvel at our patience (limited), insanity (significant), lack of sleep (yes), and ability to throw 26 pounds on each hip and continue to function.
What they don’t always realize is how much we enjoy it. We were desperately ready for children when Kat and Spencer picked us to be Tess’ parents. That need faded somewhat with our darling girl in our arms, but we still (let’s be honest – I still) craved another child. We feel like Remy fell out of the sky and into our lives. To this day, we’re astounded at our good fortune.
Everyone jokingly asks us when we’re going to add to the family. To be honest, we’ve felt significant pressure to roll our eyes and acknowledge how overwhelmed we feel. Truth? That’s just not our reality. We don’t feel a desperate need for our next child – just a slowly developing want. Two kids in a year felt like a rush in every sense of the word! Desperation to anticipation in a few short years feels like an incredible luxury.
But despite everyone insisting we should wait longer before adding to the family, we are contemplating the paperwork renewal soon. We like how close in age our kids are. We’re not oblivious to the downsides, but the upsides are delightful. We have friends with 3 year olds, and seeing them with our kids makes us hopeful, not scared.
So we’re being brave, and opening ourselves up. I’ve always regretted keeping our adoption experiences private, as so little play-by-play is available and other potential parents request the details over and over as they consider this option. For our third approach, we’re sharing it here on the blog.
Now don’t freak out! We’re not going to bring a kid home tomorrow and we’re not following in Dave’s sister’s shoes, planning a family of nine. We’ve always wanted 3-4 kids, but as we’re in our mid-30s, we (still!) want them to be close in age. To each their own, naysayers.
So in May, we’ll be putting together our dossier. I can’t even remember half of what the agency needs and we haven’t picked a placement agency yet – but our homestudy agency, WACAP, rocks. We’re starting there. FBI and police clearances, personal recommendations, a profile and birthmom letter, a personal detailed biography from each parent, hours of training and interviews – we’re gearing up. We’re going to share the potential matches, the crazy agency that doesn’t work out, the comments and questions and progress, or lack thereof.
Some may think we’re beyond foolhardy to even consider another adoption right now. Others will understand our perspective. Adoptive parents who already have children usually wait longer before being chosen again. We know this could take awhile. Then again, it may not. All of that to say, the butterflies are back. We’re not putting the baby gear too far back in storage!