Did I or didn’t I?!

Let me just say how touched I was by everyone’s comments on and off this blog; so many wonderful people make up our circle. We feel lucky to have all of you! Also? Thanks for being there.

We had an awesome Mother’s Day, made even richer by reveling in Tess’ ability to play with her cousins and interact with everybody. What a change for all of us! She pounded lamb, ribs and asparagus like they were going out of style, and then got to eat Lindsey’s Dilly bar. Tess looked like she found heaven on earth, and Lindsey may have just passed me in popularity. Dad held Remy at dinner, and I suddenly found myself in the exact scenario I’d been daydreaming about for years: rolling my eyes as I told of Tess’ recent escapades, laughing at Remy’s funny expressions and seeing him all snuggled up with papa, watching Grace tear around the house and Katherine looking for Tess. The whole night felt Rockwellian, in that entirely inappropriate for kid consumption kind of way. In a word: perfect.

SO – this is embarrassing and confusing, and I have to share.

Dave and I split up nighttime feedings: he takes 11 and 7 because he’s up anyway, and I get up for the 3 am. No big deal, worked for both kids, share the pain. So I use a fairly loud alarm at 3 am for the shock factor, to make sure I don’t sleep through it or turn it off and fall back asleep. I always remember waking up to it, turning it off, and how the feeding went when I get up in the morning…except one day last week. That morning, I remembered nothing: no alarm, no feeding, no crying, no falling back asleep, no idea what happened. Did Remy sleep through the night for the first time? Or did I completely space, turn the alarm off in my sleep, and cheat my son of his midnight snack?! He’s been reducing his 3 am meal over the course of the last few weeks, just enough for us to daydream about sleeping through, but he’s not there yet. I don’t think…

So apparently, I didn’t get up, but Dave swears the Siren would’ve woken him if he cried for more than a few minutes. The joy of the first missed feeding is somewhat lost in the guilt. We did use it as an excuse to shift from timed night feed to on-demand night feed, which means I’m confused all the time. It ranges from 3:01am to 5:32am, and that does not an easy circadian rhythm grant. Still, it means the light at the end of the tunnel is slightly closer. We took heart and tried him on a less stinky formula yesterday. Within hours, he was on perma-whine and -writhe, so we took him off of it again before bedtime. We’ve got a few more weeks of Alimentum, apparently. Watching how quickly his comfort level shifts amazes us; that stuff really does work. Nine weeks and counting down to weeks 12-16, when this delightful romp with colic will hopefully come to an end.

Tess has recently decided that naps are for wimps. She’s exhausted, screamy, and will not sleep. On a happier note, she rocked last week’s therapy! She just tested at 11 months, just past her adjusted age. Gross motor for the win. Of course, the therapist pointed out she made two months’ progress because I was at home more and she therefore had total constancy. (Stab me in the heart a few weeks before I go back to work, thanks.) Before therapy, we got to hang out in the park in the sunshine, listening to birds while I fed Remy. We got a nice walk and snuggle time to read – one of the days you live for as a mom.

And we have words! Duckie and quack (for Sassy -I’m pretty sure Tess will do anything for Sassy), chien (dog), Remy and craquelin (cracker), in that order and in the last 12 hours. Sweet! Maybe one of these days I’ll get a maman. Still, these are her first French words, which makes me happy.