Day 5

Well, Dave started the day by removing the beard for Tess first, me second and Becca third! Lol.

So today we tried to live a model day of the next 13 weeks or so. We talked the the house manager, went for morning care time…and then things went slightly askew. Not with Tess! She’s still breaking records for takin to the outside world.

We got a not-so-delightful nurse with a student who was not introduced, who barked at Dave for being nervous about holding his 5-day old, 2 lb baby, then looked irritated at our questions, and pretty much said we have no right to worry. Not awesome. Rounds was quick and boring, in the best way – because Tess is medically boring. Awesome. We grabbed some coffee, handled adoption and insurance calls, and tried to work a little.

Sadly, my VPN was not in a playing mood. I spent HOURS trying to sort out why lotus notes thinks I don’t exist, with and without IT help. No solution. Boo. So my Monday work is moving to Tuesday. Still, I suppose that can count as a workday of sorts, at least in terms of being able to concentrate for hours on something other than the nicu.

Due to the IT issues, we decided to try the other part of our grand plan: alternating cares. This will work better at every 3 hours than every 6. Dave took the 3pm, and it honestly felt like an eternity. (I’m writing this with an hour before evening care time, and it has been an eternity!)

When Dave came back to the hospital library where I was working, he was beaming. She pooped! Giant, messy, everywhere-change-the-sheets pooped! This is so not a biggie for a normal baby, but when no one knows if the baby can digest yet, it’s quite exciting. (not-fave nurse? “there will be lots of poop.” we have it on higher authority that excitement applies to digestion!) They taught Dave how to hold her so he’d be less nervous the next time – I’ll keep you posted!

Tess is getting more milk (more than a teaspoon now – 1 1/2 teaspoons!), and our birthmom needed a pump. The NICU set everything up so dave and I could do pick up and delivery, including giant bags of tiny bottles. We got a sonogram from when Tess was 22 weeks when we dropped off the pump, and can’t wait to see it. Thanks guys! Then we shot back to the house because Adji was here with our car! So nice to see a friend and my own comfy car. We had a nice Thai dinner to celebrate his arrival and now he’s headed home in the morning. Amazingly kind. Adam, thanks again for packing for us and organizing all of that!

All day, people tell us how cute Tess is. To me, she’s beautiful – but I wonder if other people see a baby or a little bird! Adji was laughing, but it’s amazing how we can’t even pretend to have perspective on this peanut. She looks different every day, and we think she’s starting to recognize us a little. Well, probably only our hands as that’s all she’s sees, but she responds to our touch! We can’t wait to hold her, but that’s a ways off.

While this is never something we’d wish upon anyone, this little wonder of a person is already changing our lives. And, to quote Adji, we will be able to use that against her when she gets bad grades in school. Ha!

Well, we’re off to tuck her in. More photos to come. 🙂 We miss all of you.

8 thoughts on “Day 5

  1. Congratulations!!! I love your updates. Our prayers are with you all. She is a beautiful baby. Lots of Love, Aunt Darlene

  2. Oh sweets! I’m so sorry you had a bad nurse. 🙁 Oddly, I was just thinking about how to tell/warn you that you’ll be there long enough, unfortunately, to see the dark side…and roll with it. Some nurses have bad days, some nervous med students show their nervousness by being cocky or weird, people make mistakes. Just as you’re dishing out the rules to the visitors, be proactive about any nurses who seem tired or sloppy, doctors or students who don’t seem on their game, anything that seems off to you. Do some homework ASAP about what the proper channels are for concerns or complaints – usually bedside nurse, then charge nurse, then attending, and then there is usually patient relations or another administrative channel. There will also be an avenue for critical concerns…emergency response team, intervention team, different names in different hospitals…this is the number you call if you have a medical concern that seems acutely serious and your concerns aren’t being addressed sufficiently or quickly enough and you feel your baby’s health is at risk. Usually just mentioning you are considering calling that number gets things moving quickly.

    I, personally, would address today’s meany problem with a nursing supervisor…perhaps with the request for no more students.

    Also find out where you can formally praise…there are often “comments” boxes or online forms where you can let the powers that be know how awesome their people are. 🙂

    And – take it from us – personally check every medication they give her. Even with all the fancy barcodes

  3. Oh sweets! I’m so sorry you had a bad nurse. 🙁 Oddly, I was just thinking about how to tell/warn you that you’ll be there long enough, unfortunately, to see the dark side…and roll with it. Some nurses have bad days, some nervous med students show their nervousness by being cocky or weird, people make mistakes. Just as you’re dishing out the rules to the visitors, be proactive about any nurses who seem tired or sloppy, doctors or students who don’t seem on their game, anything that seems off to you. Do some homework ASAP about what the proper channels are for concerns or complaints – usually bedside nurse, then charge nurse, then attending, and then there is usually patient relations or another administrative channel. There will also be an avenue for critical concerns…emergency response team, intervention team, different names in different hospitals…this is the number you call if you have a medical concern that seems acutely serious and your concerns aren’t being addressed sufficiently or quickly enough and you feel your baby’s health is at risk. Usually just mentioning you are considering calling that number gets things moving quickly.

    I, personally, would address today’s meany problem with a nursing supervisor…perhaps with the request for no more students.

    Also find out where you can formally praise…there are often “comments” boxes or online forms where you can let the powers that be know how awesome their people are. 🙂

    And – take it from us – personally check every medication they give her. Even with all the fancy barcodes and such mistakes happen. We saw it ourselves but luckily (?) it was our son’s meds that were given to the premie in the next bed and not the other way around. Sleepy-looking nurse with the sniffles floating from the general peds floor. 🙁

    Parenting a child with medical needs has extreme lows, but the highs are higher…every breath, every movement, every EVERYTHING feels like a gift. Go ahead and bask in it. (((hugs)))))

  4. I second Becca’s suggestion to talk to the charge nurse and ask for no more students and mention the other behavior. My biggest regret while the kids were in the NICU was not standing up about our ‘mean nurse’. Every time she was assigned to them I felt in the way. It got to the point where I didn’t want to be there with them if she was working. Later I found out that I could have asked that she not be assigned to E & H. Simple as that.

    Never let anyone make you feel like you are in the way. The nurses and doctors in the NICU do amazing jobs, for which I will forever be grateful, but a parent’s job is just as important.

  5. Maggey and Dave,

    What a beautiful little girl! I have loved reading all about Tess’ progress and your adventure as new parents. Thank you for taking the time to keep us all informed. I know we can’t wait to meet her when she arrives in Milwaukee and is able to see healthy visitors. We already love her so very much.

    Hugs and kisses to all and may this be the most positive of experiences.

    Love,

    Tory

  6. So glad you are doing this as I think of you each day! Never want to be known as being pesty! Tess is already loved by so many who are eager to follow her progress. Give her sweet little cheek a kiss form me! Hugs to you two lucky parents! Sue

    • Sue, it means the world to us that you’re following her tiny progress! You’re never a pest. All of your family posts have made us cry in a good way! We love you guys.

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